A Beautiful Day

There is a story by an author named Richard Paul Evans called "The Christmas Box." In it, he tells of an old widow who mourns the death of her only child by visiting an angel statue. As the book rose in popularity, the author started to hear stories of bereaved parents and families looking for this statue so that they too could mourn there. Long story short: the Christmas Box Angel statue was commissioned. And then another, and another, so that now there is a Christmas Box Angel statue in nearly every state in the U.S.

So I found one that is near to my home and called the woman listed on the website as the point of contact for that statue. I was assuming the number was probably out of date and I wouldn't reach anyone but a man answered right away. I told him I was called about the Christmas Box Angel statue and he immediately knew what I was talking about and passed the phone to this contact woman. She answered the phone and proceeded to make me, a complete stranger, feel like I'd known her for years. She was so welcoming and immediately gave me detailed directions to find the statue and even left me with her work number in case I had any trouble.

I didn't end up needing to call her, as I enjoyed a pleasant drive through the country until arriving at the statue.



It was dusk and the sun was perfect. Furthermore, the day was unseasonably warm. I mean it was the middle of January and it felt like spring! It was so wonderfully peaceful. I left white flowers at the base.



The day before my husband had surprised me by picking out his own flowers that he wanted to leave at the statue as well. He couldn't join me for the trip, but wanted to be a part of it.



So this is how we were able to remember Aiden on what should have been his first birthday.

Looking back the day went a lot better than I had thought it would. The morning was the worst for me, which was really what I had expected anyway. I talked to A & M frequently and they seemed to handle the day well in general too. None of us could remember exactly what time Aiden was born (hospitals don't keep the same records when the baby has died), so they chose 8:00 pm and lit candles from his memorial service and that they got for Christmas. They also bought him a little "My 1st" baseball and a story book. As M put it, they focused on remembering him and all of the good stuff rather than letting themselves think about the bad stuff.

It was a beautiful day. I'm glad it is over, but I am also glad that it will now be a good one for me to add to my memory bank. Thank you so much to everyone who kept us in their thoughts and prayers! :)

Broken

This is it.

7:10 am.

One year ago, I was right in the thick of it. We had decided to take our time and get ready to go to the hospital as we had been instructed to for a routine induction since the due date was a week past. We were all up early of course because we were so excited, but knew that if we got to the hospital before 8:00 we'd just sit and wait anyway.

So we happily got ready. M showered, and felt him kick. This time one year ago, she felt him kick.

I know it's pointless but so much of me right now just wants to scream back at those shadows from one year ago. Something is wrong! Hurry!! NOW!!

I knew this time of day would be the hardest for me today. In a little while, I can no longer say that one year ago he was still with us. I don't want that door to close. But I know it will. Time stops for no one.

I will be better later. I know that. I have plans for today, for remembering my angel nephew. I'll be driving out of state to the location of a Christmas Angel statue, to remember and honor little Aiden and to pray for his parents. I'll leave white flowers there, as I've read is the tradition for remembering children at these statues. I think it will help bring some peace into this day.

Haiti

For the parents and other adults who have died. For the children and babies who have died. May our love and support help the survivors find the strength to carry on.