Fall

Dear Aiden,

The leaves are turning colors, shades of orange and red and yellow. In the morning I hide from the cold under my blankets, preparing to jump out from them with the same resolve it takes to jump into a chilly pool in the summer. The days are shorter and the air is crisp. It is my favorite season. I had waited for Autumn, to feel your spirit on the breeze as I stand outside. But I feel lost. It doesn't feel the same as it used to. It's too dark, and too cold, and the trees don't seem to have their normal glow.

By now you would be crawling. I can picture your cute little diapered bottom as you speed down the hall at your mommy and daddy's apartment. You'd make drool bombs and gurgling noises and happy squeals. You'd smile with a goofy grin, with a few new teeth making an appearance. You'd hide your head on my shoulder when I held you, shy and a flirt just like your daddy was at that age.

I want to take you to the pumpkin patch and show you all of my favorite Autumn traditions. I'm going back to the same pumpkin patch I went to as a kid. They still have the same hay-ride and you-pick-it fields and indian corn. I want to prop you up next to an enormous pumpkin and take a picture and post it on facebook. My handsome nephew for everyone to see!

I miss you, and Autumn seems more like Fall.

You are a thousand winds that blow.
You are the sunlight on ripened grain.
You are the gentle Autumn rain.

Love you always,
your auntie